A billion people died on the news tonight/But not so many cried at the terrible sight/ Well mama said/
It's just make believe/You can't believe everything you see/ So baby close your eyes to the lullabies/On the news tonight

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

As You hung there and died, You were paying the price of my life.


It's 29000 now. Saying it could be 50000. Life is fast, flickering and death never stops moving. If you're lucky, you have a warning. If not.. like this. 29000 just gone.

I'm not expecting everyone to have their heads down in the dumps cos of this, but I guess we can all be a little more compassionate... including me. Of the 29000, some whole families and companies are wiped out. Someone's mother, brother, father, sister, wife, husband, cousin, friend and colleague is there. Does it not impact your heart? What if your beloved went to Phuket for a holiday? What if your Mother was visiting relatives in Penang? What if your brother went to India for a holiday? What if your sister was honeymooning in Maldives?

Life is short, flickering and death never stops moving. When they say "Live like it's your last day on Earth", they don't always mean "Prepare for Eternity". Some said, "Live like it's heaven on Earth." Judging by their actions, it might not be heaven they go to after death. But I'm not qualified to judge.

Sometimes when I get tempted to leave Him, to play like no tomorrow, I think of how hard it was for me to leave that world and its thoughts clinging onto me. I still have struggles, yea, I still have attacks of images not desirable. I guess I'm just extreme, the grey area drags me into it too.

For those who find it hard to believe the incredible story of the Cross, He works in so many ways to prove that He is here too. So many ways. For one, maybe it's because I never really worried about a job but just hoped that it would be something I like, can learn from and have the right time frame for ministry, He always gave me good jobs... not in every sense though. Some were low pay, with rotten bosses. But it also gave me good networks, a chance to continue in that industry, or a near workplace without the need of thinking of a career when I needed a break.

Maybe that's why I never really had that worry that He wouldn't give me what I really need. My voice hasn't been healed. I believe that if it's in His plan for my voice to return to normal, it'll be in His time. If it isn't, I wouldn't mind cos I know I talk too much, too fast, like now.

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