A billion people died on the news tonight/But not so many cried at the terrible sight/ Well mama said/
It's just make believe/You can't believe everything you see/ So baby close your eyes to the lullabies/On the news tonight

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

an open letter

You know something? After you left, I was seething. Bubbling with anger and self-hate, because of you. It wasn't worth it, a friend advised. Obviously, but you made me feel so cheap that I almost believed it.

I won't let my pride come in the way here. You left. I was upset. But I'm glad that you left, because I don't know what might have happened if you didn't. Don't pretend to care about me, I know you don't. I've felt that perpetually, continually. But I enjoyed being friends with you, and friends we will remain - I do not forsake friends - but all conversations will be online or over the phone, texting. I will never meet you again. I will keep today's events in my mind strongly.

To think that I really liked you. You know, I really thought, at that time that we had something going on. You could have fooled me. But I guess the pretence of love was too shabby and you realised that really soon. Fine, I'm ok with that, nothing's perfect. You didn't have to make me feel so worthless time and time again. One good thing about you, though, you never trumpeted your own triumphs to put me down, and that I respect.

However, I've seen through the facade. What I hoped to be a joyous time of movies and dinner tonight came to an abrupt stop when you left, and to that, good riddance. You know, one thing I'm glad about tonight? You did the dishes.

So I wish you well. And what happened tonight will serve a good lesson to me. I learnt it the hard way, but I hope this remains in my mind a long long time. God bless, if you still believe and abide by Him. I hope you do. We both really need Him.