A billion people died on the news tonight/But not so many cried at the terrible sight/ Well mama said/
It's just make believe/You can't believe everything you see/ So baby close your eyes to the lullabies/On the news tonight

Thursday, December 08, 2005

I miss you.

My heart feels isolated, not that the world is isolating it. It is being isolated specifically by a single person, and to feel the pain again and again, everytime I do not see you here. I know you are, but you've just hidden from my view. To want to talk to you, but lacking the courage to; to want to go up and say, let's not let our differences differentiate us to this point, but not having the wisdom how to; to want to request for help from your cell mate, only knowing that it'll push you further from me.

How did one or two disagreements spiral into just a cold fight? I wouldn't say I agree with you totally, the way that I know you wouldn't when it's about me. My oversight to see how frustrated you actually was preceded with the need to know why you felt the way you did.

I miss you, really, badly, horribly. The void in my heart aches to see it filled up, just a simple "hello" would reflect my cowardice to bring the past up - not that I see the need to. To not 'hear' from you every morning, even if it was a quick complaint about that inconsiderate boss of yours all over again would be but music to my ears.

Where are you? I saw your best friend last night, rushing from work to school, and her, returning home. She turned and greeted me, only to have me tell her I was in a hurry. I always admired the kind of kinship you had with her, and I was glad when you thought me a proper friend. I remember the time I could not do much but just listen to your frustrations and irritation bring poured out with regards to various issues, and the time I called you in frustration over what happened to me at work. Where's that shoulder I need? The harbour I am honoured to be is being neglected in regret.

I'm sorry I allowed this to happen, you wanted to be alone. Now I don't know how to not leave you alone. Every morning I switch on my MSN, only to see you have not unblocked me.

Talk to me, I really miss you. I cannot take this much longer... I never had much friends. Even if I did, none would be able to replace the unique you. I want to be part of your life again, and I desperately wish you would be part of mine again. The kind of friendship we had - though not as close as some others you have, or I have with some others. I miss you. I need you, friend, sister. What do you want me to do? If I could do anything..

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