faith

It hurts. That my faith is tested. That I can just deny. It really does. God, I thank you for that brother. Yet why do I rejoice? Doesn’t that mean I believe in You?   But yet why, why do I worry, why do I fear, and why do I fret? What is going on inside me?   Why am I denying a chance to myself at life?   Like what Blinkymummy said… Consciousness is a curse.     All, please keep me in prayers. I am trying. I will take my medication. I will study. I will be good.   I will live.