Marketing Jargon - the latest tongue twisters

Can anyone understand this sentence without slowly reading it again? "The discourses of branding, if briefly surmised, advocate the methodolgy of consistency in the practises of creativity. Paradoxical as it may sound, consistency and creativity exist in polar extremes, like Oscar Wilde once said, 'Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.' Hence draws forth the conclusion that applying Oscar Wilde to the concept of branding is analogous to saying that coffee is a stimulant yet a relaxant." - An ad for Suzuki Coffee Huh? Waitaminit. The first sentence alone has 17 words, of which 6 of them at least 3 syllabus. Why can't people use simple England? My England not that powderful, ok? What da heow? footnote 1 And where did coffee jump in? If this was an essay in Secondary School, it would been a big fat F. Waitaminit. No wonder they ended up copywriters! footnote 2 Footnotes 1. Copyright Mr Miyagi. Actually Mr Brown. Erm, but it's Mr Miyagi's site. But it's mb writing. But.... 2. No offense to copywriters. Please don't sue me. I love you all.