Mid Autumn

I've been reading The Sitckgal's adventures, and sometimes I wonder if I'm the one drawing them in a schizophrenic frenzy. It seems to totally understand how I feel, and even the silly feelings where friends say, "siao ah." Mid-autumn hasn't been a big deal for me ever since I started being a teen. The first year that I started working, I didn't really even notice it. The 2nd year, I don't remember. The third year I called R. It was a desperate, lonely attempt. He was the first guy that I "wasn't" with. The conversation went something like this. "Harlows!" "RN ah?" "Ya... how are you?" "Fine loh." "You never go out ah? Mid Autumn leh." "No. You?" "No... going home now." "Oh..." "So how has life been?" here, it dawns upon him I'm not calling for anything but to chat. "Eh, I can't chat leh. Not free." I got the hint. I felt that the girl was next to him. It could have been me. I'm quite homely. I like being single sometimes. I can be alone. I can stay home alone. But the reason why I always ask my friends out is that I haven't gone out at all! So, if I'm asking you out week after week, it's the same invitation postponed. And sometimes, I need "fresh air". If I can understand it when it comes from you, why can't you understand it when it comes from me? But I digress. The year after that, I spent midautumn with my brother (+gf) and sister (+bf) at my sister's place. Hooray on being the odd numbered again. I had fun but it really sucks after a while and it'll rattle on my nerves when the 2 couples gaze into each others' eyes while fireworks boom all over the backdrop. *harlows, I'm still around, oh, nevermind.* alone again, naturally.