A billion people died on the news tonight/But not so many cried at the terrible sight/ Well mama said/
It's just make believe/You can't believe everything you see/ So baby close your eyes to the lullabies/On the news tonight

Friday, January 21, 2005


It is another of those days again where I can't help but be thankful to Him.. I'm sitting in a cafe in West Coast and suddenly, I just start pondering about life. He keeps blessing and blessing me.. I feel overwhelmed with joy! How can anyone not? I want to (and I will) refuse the spiteful, 'hero&victim' mentality and seek a proper closure to that, if He wills it!

This is amazing, 'cos I'm meeting LL later and I have no idea what to think, but I guess The Big Fella Upstairs knows what He's doing, so why worry? I'm praying that the Holy Spirit guides me.. And him. I really wouldn't mind just being friends, which we will most probably end up as (and it's really just ok with me.. probably better, even!), and I thank Him for giving me a friend. Funnily, he inspires me to un-nua. *laugh* he makes me wanna work harder, play harder, think business harder. Now I'm hooked to watching movies for a while. I also wanna take a sport (be it bball, running or pool) and be really serious in it. I don't wanna 半途而废(give up halfway) about this kind of things again. I also want to take ma's business seriously.. & vicky and mine too. Of course the F&B one too.

TKH has confirmed that we'll only start in July: Amen! There'll be enough time to lay some groundwork.

Sometimes just thank God for all the shit I've gone through: good fertilizer! *laugh* I was just talking to Westin about R**. I think I for once was the single person destroying the non-relationship.. He took it quite seriously but I had issues which I didn't know how to resolve.. thank God it didn't derail him off love, he's happy with his girlfriend now =) and I'm happy, really happy for him too. At least I didn't screw up his life! *laugh* I'm mad.

Which brings me to this song that I really like.. R** sang this to me a long time back in a KTV. *laugh* I think it sort of shows what I want in a relationship.

Of course, a partner is a blessing, it's a bonus.. not a need.

陶喆 天天

太阳天或下雨天 人挤人的咖啡店
看着情人肩靠肩 慢慢转开我视线

我的心 已经 飞到这个城市的另一边
想看着你 我爱的脸 把心里的感情都对你说

那马路上天天都在塞 而每个人天天在忍耐
没有你日子很黑白 原来这样就是恋爱
我想要你在我身边 分享生命中的一切
我想要天天说 天天说 天天对你说我有多爱你

Friday, January 07, 2005

Curbside Prophet

Listening to Jason Mraz. Think he was one of the best finds I ever found. Hummingbert fell in love with him straight away he heard him. Yeah man, I still have that touch for finding singers little-known or relatively non-popular that are fantastic. lol

Somehow the song '0% interest' reminds me of LL. I guess it has to do with the night we went to listen to jazz. :)

Okay, time to get serious. Thank God for lifting my spirits with little things, although this week was far from a happy one filled with any personal sunshine.

A colleague of mine, whom I've always suspected to be a little unstable emotionally (it's easy to read the signs when you've been there) sent an sms to Boss about taking 70 sleeping pills. The night ended with us at her place, where she was snoring and smelt of alcohol (Boss's view) and an empty packet of medicine beside her, after a trip to the police station (just him, I met him there straight when he was nearly done) where Boss had his statement taken down by some idiot (really. I don't use this word generously) and a futile attempt at searching for her at a lot of carparks near any 24hr coffee shop in the west side (she used to sleep out of the car at some carpark near a 24hr coffee shop in the west side).
She told me the morning after that she went home to die, to get her husband in trouble. She's at the rut of despair now, she won't take any advice for the time being (like I said, it's easy to read when you've been there).. and we can only pray. Rain helped inform almost whole the Unit I think, to pray for her. PF followed up with me last night, that felt good, to know that your churchmates are in battle with you.
She attempted in a different way again 24 hours later. Imagine what Boss felt! Thank God her friend sent her into SGH, where she was treated for damage to her wrist. To make things worse, the Upper Management decided to drop her. Boss was so tired, I felt so sorry for him. She was performing, although her attendance wasn't consistant, but the work was being done. Boss and I went to see her last night.. and he seemed quite shook up. If anything good came out of this, it was that Boss and I talked a lot, and I got to know more about him. I think I always click well with male bosses.. *laugh* like Viktor, the kind of friend-brother relationship. I always enjoy this kinda friendships.
And I can't believe that stupid hospital let her get discharged! I tried to tell the doctor that her agency had already informed her of her termination, and the good doctor wasn't around. I left my number with the 4 nurses, 4 times (I think) and guess what, the good doctor hasn't gotten back to me.

But anyway she loaned some money from me again, and is actively looking for a job too, so I guess she isn't going to try in the near future.. I hope.

Thank God for the prayer going on for her. Boss needs it too, he's almost sick again, that persistant cough hasn't really gone away. Please continue to pray for her and Boss as well.. as well as me, for me to have the strength and wisdom to handle the situation rightly. He's giving me more and more people recently, and He works in mysterious ways.

"Better" - Jason Mraz (cut and paste from some website I can't remember)

it's something like i apologize, it's something i still can't decide
but i know it gets better, it only gets better

and i want to say that it's not always easy but it's simple that way
and i want to stay and play it out but i still have my doubts
so you say it gets better, it only gets better, better, maybe it's better this way

beautiful things they never stay, oh, the same way
they pass, oh they pass away, they always change, who are we is who we are
when the act of love can get us so far, so good i wish you would think twice on me

cuz it only gets better, it only gets better, better this way
better, maybe it's better this way, just give it some time, just give it some space
just give it some time, maybe it's better this way, yes maybe, yes maybe, yes maybe
it's better, oh, this way, promise me you'll always be better

Be Joyful Always

These past 7 days have not been a good start to a new year. Many had lost family and friends, and yet many more have lost their homes and property. Inspite of all these, some people have maintained Hope, Love and Joy. Holding onto Joy isn't ironic or cruel, it's the thing that we need in circumstances like that. Happiness isn't congruent with joy, though joy brings happiness. If we are joyful, we can maintain a level head and not be overcome with grief to the point of inefficiency. We need to rationalise now to put the situation into a better light.

These actions can be brought into our own small crisis as well. Losing a job doesn't mean the end of the world. Instead, treat it as a lesson learnt, ask God what you can learn from it, and make sure you progess. Seek relentlessly a job beyond your scope and pray for Him to remove the pride that may obstruct the jobseeking process.

Not that grief is not good, it can, in fact, be a good thing: [Ecclesiastes 7:3] "Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart." Grief allows one to start healing, and also allow closure to that certain circumstance. But to hold onto grief and cling unto it like it is a buoy will bring downfall and drowning in despair as it is akin to lead strapped onto your ankles and cuffing your wrists, in a deep sea that is infested with sharks hungry for the faintest smell of blood.

I'm saying that there needs to be a delicate balance of Grief and Joy, and they are, contrary to popular view, able to co-exist in a unique mix that can bring growth and wisdom. I haven't been able to find that though, obviously, or He wouldn't need to remind me of joy, but yea, that will be what I seek. We will feel for the victims, dead and alive, and because we feel for them we will overcome this and build a better world for those alive to live in.

1 Thessalonians 5:16~18

16 Be joyful always;
17 pray continually;
18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

When I woke up this morning, and on the way to work, somehow He gave me small little images in my mind that perked me up. Images like watching a funny video with a friend, joking with another, just hanging out with a third. Small things in life can make your day, if you let it. :) Life ain't all that bad. We may not have much choice over circumstance, but yea, we have choice over how we see it, and that in itself influences both life and the next proceedings.

Hey Vincent.. you need some good news? :) This can't be beaten down.
[John 3:16]“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."


God bless your day, and your whole life ahead.