A billion people died on the news tonight/But not so many cried at the terrible sight/ Well mama said/
It's just make believe/You can't believe everything you see/ So baby close your eyes to the lullabies/On the news tonight

Sunday, April 30, 2006

another vid...

...because I am too bored but disturbed. I walked into Life Bookshop and felt something turning inside my head... but numbness took over. Went dad's place, watched something that made me uncomfy and couldn't take it.

But it's getting better. Meanwhile, Kiwi and Furgie guest-star.

just to make a point...

...but I don't know what.

You Are 28% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

You Are 50% Normal
(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself


I told sandy... today is an experiment. And what an experiment it was. Reading Wilson's blog, I actually allowed myself to think. It blows my mind. It's so nervewrecking, everyday. Someone who wasn't onto the full picture asked me if I'll be going for service. But today was fun. Yesterday was quite bad, I was almost a wreck by the time I was with Supanova. Sorry, bro... I was impatient, babbling on irrelevant stuff to occupy myself, and just a pain in the ass to hang out with. Thanks...

Well, the BBQ was fun today. I saw Poy and Jason naked hahahah! Almost la, to their trunks. Hahaha. chuwen came over and joined us for the BBQ.

And if not the BBQ, I would have never known...

....his gay tendencies.
....his seriously gay tendencies. Look at that extreme look of satisfaction.

But ah well, anyways, I STILL BEAT YOU AT POOL AND LITERATI. Buahahahahaha.

But thanks, everyone.


chuwen came to my place today, and due to her being timid, furgie didn't really show up. To show people how cute that little kitten really is, here's a vid! (I didn't know O2 can vid and youtube it too)

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Stone Soup

Sherman's Lagoon: here

Ever heard of the story of stone soup?

Well, that's how some people and blogs are.

this is the day...

...where transport and some other stuff went wiry.

well, a huge amendment was made to the previous post. I ended up at Far East Plaza with 过分美丽 and had lunch at Paragon, among shopping. Both of us made purchases that we've planned for, some almost critical. We ended up at Wisma (and Taka, and Wisma, etc) and then we realised that it's really hard to get a cab. How hard?

Well, normally at rush hour it's hard.
Add it on that it's a Friday.
And then add it on that it's a Friday before a long weekend (it's May Day on Monday!).
And add it on that it was raining.


Include fact that it's payday for many people.
And add on the final whammy... Progress Package is in.

*beep* the *beep* out of the *beep* of those *beep* that *beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeep* drivers that don't *beep* pick up *beep* people at *beep* *beep* when they ought *beep* to, waiting for *beep* *beep* calls.

You know what really irks me? I was at Metro today, at Paragon. First thing I noticed was... Whoa, the crowds! Storewide 20% discount. Hmmm, how timely. It's ok. It spurs our retail economy and well, some money should go into blue collar workers and their families, no? Coming from an industry like this, to tell the truth, no, the Big Bad Corporations normally takes like 90% of the profit. Most, not all (I hope). Anyways, before I slant into slander, the flyers above the heads of consumers promoting the sale (there were a few, but there's one that really impressed upon my mind) were near evil. That one wrote, "It's the 'I don't need it, but I want it' sale".

@#$%^&*()*&amp;amp;amp;^%$#@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*( progress @#$%^&amp;amp;amp;*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*()(*&^%$# for needy )(^%$#@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*( spending on SKII.
< / rant >

while I ain't no saint, and well, it's YOUR money from the government, I do have the right of opinion to say.... darn those people.

When I was managing one of the my old F&B establishments, an old hand (rather senior and earning almost $2k) went to my boss to apply for leave. He told me that he was going to the CDC to claim welfare, because my company didn't give out CPF (at his request), the government labelled him as unemployed and he was just out to milk it for all its worth. “有多少拿多少!" This is one of the reasons why I force myself not to be indifferent to it all.

Because of people like him, other needy people suffer.

Friday, April 28, 2006

what, only 60 channels?

Imagine a time where all we had was Channel 5 and Channel 8. Does anyone watch TV1 and TV2 anymore? If we were lucky, we could even watch TV3. Can you imagine how bored I was in Ipoh? Until they had Astro. Astro's a lot more proactive in getting channels - they have their own channels as well. But now... the house has become so cramped, I doubt that I will have have to lounge on the sofa and indulge in my Uncle's luxurious All-Channel-Astro.

Anyways, 过分美丽 who was supposed to meet me for lunch went off to her home to have a nice peaceful sleep. So I'm here, fully ready to go out, and debating where to go. Will be meeting Supanova for dinner at Jack's Place near my place, so even if I was to go out to study, it'll be for just a short time, and it does take time for me to settle in at any place that I wanna study. Well, I've decided... I'll go to JE lib and then take a bus to Jack's Place!

Meanwhile, the promised photo of the
daily (sometimes more than once) pasta...

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Congrats, Dai Kor!

turn that thing down! I wanna sleep..

the poor thing is used to having me around. when I stopped sleeping in my room, the only defence she got at night was gone too. I realised that she'll always be on top of the tv when I watch it at night. Perhaps it's like the way I treat my brother... since God is omnipotent and always present, no matter where I am He'll see me, no?

Talking about TV, I've been watching the 9pm show on Channel 8, and really quite impressed at the new way that Channel 8 is trying this out. But you can only do the "24" timing thing this many times. Keep the edge and lose the format for the next show! Great casting of Huang Biren and Li Nanxing.

On a totally different note, Dai Kor's getting married! Finally 有人要了... Just tell me when's the wedding and I'll be there... if not in person, in money! 所谓, 人不到, 钱到!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I'm Back


well Well WELL.

I gotta try right? =))

hence, I'm going to try blogging regularly again. EVERYDAY in fact, and I'm gonna do it before "Bewitched" at 1.15 and after lunch (my regular pasta). I wanted to post my pasta's pic, but I realised that I didn't have one. Hence, here's one of Alex, who had been sleeping with me when I doze off from watching CSI (Season One) [it's for research ok? for my module Law of Evidence. *ahem*]

turn off the lights, turn off the lights! don't bother me!
What CSI? Noisy lah!

On a separate note, many thanks to mooiness for replying me. It was great getting it off my (very small) chest, from a guy who knows who I am talking about. Kinda. =)

Monday, April 17, 2006


It hurts. That my faith is tested. That I can just deny. It really does.

God, I thank you for that brother. Yet why do I rejoice? Doesn’t that mean I believe in You?


But yet why, why do I worry, why do I fear, and why do I fret? What is going on inside me?


Why am I denying a chance to myself at life?


Like what Blinkymummy said… Consciousness is a curse.



All, please keep me in prayers. I am trying. I will take my medication. I will study. I will be good.


I will live.




Tuesday, April 11, 2006


I am sick.


I do not want to reveal or go into details because I don’t really want to. What I can say is that what’s happening now.


I’ve been diagnosed with GAD, or Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’m still fine for now, but get anxious sometimes in the open. Somehow, at home, with my brother and my sis-in-law, I feel really safe. I’ve not gone for class for near 1 month plus. I’ve not gone for CG/Service for about the same time.


I’ve imprisoned myself.


This whole issue really made me think a lot, it challenged a lot about what I think and feel about God. I cannot imagine, now, people going through life without thinking about “religion” at all. A lot of things about life have been, well, scrutinised and thought over. I’m a bit unsettled and a bit off-centre now.


I really want to thank a lot of people, namely Law (for driving me then to the A&E), GR (for praying for me, and even offering me his home number), CC (for praying for me and sending me encouraging SMS), and others who might have prayed for me, like Rachel and Sandy, and Poy, and more. Another group of people I really want to thank, are people that I’ve not ever seen before. Chuwen and Cowgoesmoo (do you even realise I have no idea what’s your name… haha) have been really by my side. Chuwen have offered to coach me in Math, smsed me, entertained me online, and really made me feel that friendship can really come in many different ways. Cowgoesmoo have played MSN games with me just to keep me company, until I’ve fallen asleep. There was one message that really touched me. [RN, don’t scare me!] Also Gavin and Mike – I know I’m supposed to help out for the blog, but have utterly useless for that. But your conversations with me have really helped. All of you, really, hand on my heart, I love you guys.


Of course, my brother and sis-in-law have been really wonderful and accommodating. Sorry, Lauren, for interfering in your sweet bliss. Also my sister, who called from Shanghai to speak to my brother about it. It’s really hard on my brother, it’s not something he can imagine easily, being a military PLUS over-rational (plus increasingly stubborn – runs in the family) man.


I hope to seek the cooperation of everyone – I’m fine, I’ll stay alive, and I’m trying to live. To help me, don’t say things like depression is self-given, etc. I might just recover on the spot and kick you where it’ll definitely hurt – in between your legs. Just pray for me, and my studies. And for Serene as well, she had/is still having a hard time coping with his death. I thank you with all I have.




ps – please sms me your names to my handphone (91…..) cos I lost it a while back. Those who already have, thanks.



Monday, April 03, 2006

Not helping



I am going nuts.

Really. Shit. 11 April cannot come soon enough. Damn it, will people stop underestimating psychiatric docs?


I’m also driving my brother and sister nuts.