A billion people died on the news tonight/But not so many cried at the terrible sight/ Well mama said/
It's just make believe/You can't believe everything you see/ So baby close your eyes to the lullabies/On the news tonight

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Cherrine Date Show

Ok people, this one is for real. I've got a lovely lady by the name of
Cherrine who's up for a date with, yes, possibly you! (please ignore
'you' if you're a lady, a turd, or really really young or old)

Cherrine's a friend of The Rational Neurotic who's a great friend of
mine. This idea is set up by The Rational Neurotic but the competition
is hosted upon my blog because The Rational Neurotic thinks I have
greater hits. Actually, I think so too, but I'm just being outright

The Lady
Cherrine's a clubber, and she frequents karoakoe pubs.
Cherrine's a NIE trainee at present. It means she has the brains, and we
all do love a lady with a good head on her shoulders, don't we?
Cherrine is 1.62m tall. You need to be at least as tall as her.
You might have fears that 'clubbers are ONS-ers', but The Rational
Neurotic explicitly mentioned that she's "loving, caring and sweet to
her man"
And for a little excitement, Cherrine has her navel pierced.

The Game
Cherrine wants to watch the movie, 'Da Vinci Code', and do dinner.
Tickets for the movie is free-of-charge for the candidate, but dinner's
on the guy. To snag this date, you'll need to do a write-up on why
Cherrine should catch the movie and do dinner with you.
The Rules
1) Tell us about yourself.
-> Its a screening process. Any dishonesty will be reflected after the
whole date. We want to know your (a) age, (b) personality, (c)
occupation, (d) hobbies/interests.
2) Candidates will have to do a write-up on why Cherrine should date
->Convince us. Saying you have a big willy immediately disqualifies you.
3) Send us a recent picture of you.
->Don't lie to us with a picture of you looking all good and shapely in
NS when in actual fact you're one big rolly-polly. Don't forget that
I'll have the details.

Send to?
Your entries will be vetted by me and The Rational Neurotic. Don't
worry, your entries will be kept confidential.
Send your emails and a recent picture to me:
gagreflex at gmail dot com
and The Rational Neurotic:
rationalneurotic at gmail dot com

Cheah Chu Wen

http://www.fastmail.fm - A fast, anti-spam email service.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Hello world. Just guest blogging for RN. Nothing new right now. RN is
off studying. So I'm in charge now. =P


A bounce, a skip and hop. Soon we'll all be in hell, so why not party
until then. --The Wabbit

Monday, May 15, 2006

damn it

he wants to discontinue the internet.

I should move back home. W#$%^&*(*&^%$#@!

Don't bother me

kenna caught watching CSI again. Anyways had already decided that was the last time until after exams. But I do like the prepping up.... sigh....

Now, in the living room and facing my brother. Adrenaline does not help my GAD, I realised. Heart pumping, but damn irritated. Sighs.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

what do superheros do when they retire?

got this off an email.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

(part one) wouldn't it be nice...

on a personal and not general view... 排名不分上下.

... if ling would finally find a man that truly deserves her and makes her smile, not cry.
... if m would finally realise my existance.
... if s would finally stop 'picking' on w and encourage him more often.
... if samg would finally be together with wr.
... if nincompoop and wife never fight again and live happily ever after.
... if dasao would finally agree to marry kor.
... if sylvy would finally stop getting stressed @ at that shit job she has to do.
... if wj would finally get a job that lets him combine his interest with work.
... if vik would finally settle down with a nice girl.
... if I can finally stop hating myself and my mind and be normal again.
... if chef would finally stop playing politics so I may enjoy a great job in the future.
... if dasao and her colleagues would finally stop doing more OT than normal work time.
... if nincompoop continues blogging.
... if cw would finally really enjoy campus life.
... if fang would finally really enjoy campus life and have her potential discovered.
... if a (da man!) would finally get enough sleep and have his potential discovered (w/ me!).
... if kor can get his needed career boost without going away.
... if ma and pa can stop fighting.
... if pa can do anything he likes and not be so tired all the time.
... if w has a pleasant career path.
... if jie would finally find a man she wants to settle down with, really.
... if BM manages to escape office politics.
... if Ray finally has the life he always wanted (maybe he has).
... if ling manages to have her great potential discovered.
... if teddy gets out of that horrible financial stump.
... if some of the people I call friends, call me a friend too.
... if my cg can truly understand what I am going through.
... if my family can truly understand what I am going through.
... if vik can talk to florence and say to her husband, "my success, in your face!"
... if people in my industry stop being sexist and racist.
... if I can afford to pay rent to my pa.
... if the 6 roomies in our flat can really get along lovingly.
... if the management at my condo fixes some of the older facilities.
... if aric finally gets a job, pay and recognition he deserves.
... if jie finally gets paid much more and can actually handle her finances well.
... if dasao and nincompoop both get the career boost they deserve.
... if linus' wounds heals and never come back.
... if j and b would finally find their plus points together and be happy together.
... if my future company buys over jerry's company.
hahahahaha in your face.
... if my friends start abusing my pad more often.

wouldn't it be nice...

Friday, May 12, 2006

misery loves company

an empty house, with no one with. what good is a pad when there are no guests?

it all started last night, when I found out that I'll be all alone tonight. I asked a couple of friends over, and was curtly and promptly rejected. Asked them again this morning, same thing.

Woke up too late. Changed the timing to meet Supanova to cram to noon but it's damn sian going all the way to Expo and coming home to an empty house at 8.30pm by myself all the way on the freaking train. So I called it off and found out that my bro and dasao were going off at 11am already.

Cooked some food for lunch, and guess what... I overcooked the pasta and undercooked the sauce. So I had some cold soft pasta for lunch.

The books were getting on me. My brain was getting numb. I actually screamed out of sheer boredom. It was "Reject-Me" day, I told cw.

Then my sister came online. She told me she had an urgent task for me. Funny, I never received a call or even email from her about this 'urgent' task. She needed me to bring down a phone of her friend's to its service centre in Bugis. They have the records of what's wrong, she said, and will fedex me the phone. I say no, because I've got papers coming up in 10 days and I'm already ready to kill someone, and she starts pissing all on me. Give her some suggestions and whoa, now it's my fault. It's not even HER phone. "Could be my boss, and he's in France."

Now I got to do the ass-kissing for her even. Just because I'm the only person she can bully around. Even if it's really a "2 hour thing", she could ask my brother, who has leave coming up and a car so it can really be a 2 hour thing.


Misery loves company. Damn shit. And they coming all to me now, and the night can get worse. It's only 4.20pm.

Misery loves company.



有时寂寞太沉重 身边彷佛只是观众 你的感受没有人懂
难得谁自告奋勇 体贴让人格外感动 爱上他前后用不到一分钟

嘿~ 回想恋情的内容 有谁想过有始有终 不过是一时脆弱让人放纵


没有谁背后怂恿 不该爱又爱的冲动 是你害怕孤单而拼命补充

credits [歌手: 蔡健雅 | 专辑: 陌生人]



Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Don't ask me what that food in the pan was. It did come out exactly what I intended to look like, and almost exactly the way I thought it'll taste.

That's CSI:NY (Season 2) on the background.

A few things happening today:

1) Cherrine's grad party should be over soon, and she's on her way to NIE
2) Supanova's first paper - Introduction to Sociology should be over soon too.
3) chuwen is as usual really bored at work.
4) At least BM knows that it ain't good being skinny! Look at Fann Wong's commercials on Xando ("I lost 2 kg!") can induce puke (no pun intended - do you know bulimia can be a side effect of BDD)
5) I need to shit. After lunch dump. Heh.


she's looking for answers
on where her smile has gone
she goes around asking
"have you seen my smile"

underneath those tears
surely someone knows
yet she hasn't found it
"have you seen my smile"

"I know I have no standing
I don't deserve to ask
ever since he's gone
I have lost my smile"

have you seen her smile
the one that brightens up the dark
the one that music plays for
the one that the sun rises daily for

have you seen her smile
the one that nations fight for
the one that flowers bloom for
the one that people yearn for

have you seen her smile
have you seen my best friend's smile?

Monday, May 08, 2006

when Sunny gets blue

When Sunny Gets Blue
Her eyes get gray and cloudy
Then the rain begins to fall
Pitter patter, pitter patter
Love is gone so what can matter
No sweet loving man comes to call
When Sunny Gets Blue
She breathes a sigh of sadness
Like the wind that stirs the trees
Wind that sets the leaves to swaying
Like some violins a playing
Wierd and haunting melodies
People used to love to hear her laugh
See her smile
That's how she got her name
Since that sad affair
She's lost her smile
Changed her style
Somehow she's not the same
But memories will fade
And pretty dreams will rise up
Where her other dreams fell through
Hurry new love
Hurry here
To kiss away each lonely tear
And hold her near
When Sunny Gets Blue
how will you ever understand what I think... that those thoughts do not conform to what you understand.

I have no excuse for myself, nor do I blame others. Just let me be what I want to be. Let me reap what I sow.

You do not hear the arguments I have with them, you do not hear what I say in my heart. How do I say what I want to, to you?

How will you understand that I am still lost, I am still seeking, and I am trying?

I just hope for once you'll go with me. Maybe then you can get to know me better.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

MSN friend 1

I just realised something. You know, when we are younger (for the audience my age and above) we are told to be careful on the internet, for we might never know who's really the other person? Then came blogging and the words "online persona" or "cyber personality".

But every morning, the first person that I 'speak' to is another citizen from the sunny island who's studying in Far Away Land ie DC. Good old [insert false name here]. He's one of the first people who knew about what was happening to me, although at that time we weren't close at all. In fact, at that time I believe we only knew each other for less than 2 months. But somehow, I was comfortable with him knowing. He actually has the full story on my condition now. "How are you" and then he moves on. Every morning. We talk about television, a little on politics, a lot of everyday crap, etc. A lot of the times the conversation goes like this:

Me - What are you doing up so late
G - No particular reason/Essay/Statistics
Me - Not sleeping?
G - Later. What are you doing?
Me - [insert name of whatever TV program that I'm watching], hee hee. How was dinner?
G - Fine... you ate yet?
Me - cooking now. Brb.
G - ok.
Me - ok, back. Had pasta.
G - yummy. I had [insert name here to make me jealous]
Me - I soooooooooo wanna go DC
G - hahahahaha
Me - so when are you coming back to SG?
G - [insert date here]
Me - haha. watching [insert name of TV show] now. Damn funny loh.
G - ya I know, did you watch that episode where [insert celebrity] was on? That was the best.
Me - ya man.

Sometimes, it'll go like this.

G - [insert serious issue here]
Me - ya, but [a flimsy attempt to speak intellectually]

repeat process for 10 minutes

Me - ok, my brain is tired liao. Cannot think.
G - Haha

I never thought of him treating me as a good friend. I of course hope that we are good friends, but I never thought of us actually as good friends. You know, those that give each other passwords to protected posts on their blogs?

Well, he did. He gave me that one password, and that's actually the first time I had a password to a protected post. (well, most of my friends or the blogs that I read have so much crap in them or they simply can't be bothered anyways) I remember a certain friend of mine (who's now a Bro-In-Christ, Hallelujah!) whom I casually asked whether he had a blog, and replied, "ya, but it got password... I sms you later." I didn't even know him that well, and he gave me that password. It gave me a certain... hmmm... pleasant shock that he, well, trusted me...? But then another friend of ours (that's you, S!) had her blog password protected (which now she removed), and to me, I'm those kind of persons who, if you don't tell me already, means you don't intend to tell me, kind of person. It'll save the awkwardness of someone saying... erm, I changed my URL/password because I didn't want you reading it. I know, because I've changed my URL before to avoid people. So those people who update me about URL changes - it means: 'I want you to continue reading my blog', whatever your intention to change the URL was for. And that's also a great sense of honour. (I wanted to use glory, but it sounded out of place).

But anyways, you know who you are. Thanks a lot. I'm really looking forward to you coming back! We can all have dinner! Your non-judgemental ways and intellectually perverse (hee hee) conversations with me have given me good company. Having a blog, a community that I "belonged" to (CBB) and immersing in all these "good cheers" had given you to me. Having you as a friend is one of the best things that has happened to me. [Ok, ok, seriously and honestly, having all of you, my friends, you ALL know who you are, are one of the few? best things that have happened to me.] I don't have much friends, and I thank God for each and every one. And I thank Him again and again for you now. Your company online had aided me in my walk to recovery. [still walking] Your non-invasive questions and understanding words (I know almost everyone has a good intention, but sometimes methods are wrong and it can be annoying and even erm, downright frustrating.) have helped me more than you know. You're in my prayers (when I pray).

And I look forward to many many more MSN conversations with you about everything and nothing. =) Thank you, and thank God for you.

I'm not saying to be NOT CAREFUL about who you speak to online, but I think that kind of caution should come with every person you know. But I'm not saying that you shouldn't be friendly at all... Aiya, if you get to know me and see how I treat people, then you understand ahaha. Treat everyone with kindness, but don't be taken advantage of knowingly. And if it's someone you WANT to sleep with, kindly make sure, whether online/offline, that he's single and available. 所谓知人知面不知心.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


alex is rarely like this, just staring out the window on the table in my brother's room. Normally he meows at the birds outside the living room window.

however, he does enjoy a good show of CSI... got irritated at me when I tried to hug him and move him away.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

shit you firefox

halfway through a post, the whole damn thing jammed. shit.

anyways, let me just repost whatever little I still remember.

this is interesting.

过分美丽's friend had intimate relations with a man she met on a clubbing trip. The man happens to be having his ROM (apparently he had a long time girlfriend) this weekend. I asked her to tell the poor girl, and find a way, any way to tell her. I also asked her if she'll want to know, if it was her, just before the ROM? A great hearty yes. I wonder if the girl would want to know... sigh. It reminded me of this.

This also looks familiar. Hands up those who have went through that.

And I seriously love this site. Damn fun. Started liking crosswords, but I'm really lousy. Think must keep on doing it on a roll to improve. Getting a little tired of Sudoku.

And if cowg0esm0o reads the difference between his experience with running recently and Currytan's last run, he might be very sad too.

My sister has long asked me to go to Shanghai to look for her. Seems like one of my fave singers (she has a great voice) has also nothing but praises for it.

And I really love this site. Where else can I read the full Recca story before I go start my (lost) comic collection?

Ok, that's it... right now, I'm just going to Literati with someone who can't admit he lost to me hahaha. (even without Morewords.com)

I need a new racquet

thinking of what to write. watching channel U. saw this "uncut" video from Singapore Poly that's sorta "蛋炒饭" which's sorta STOMP.

thinking of what to write. watching channel 19, dr house. CSI's commercial came on. House's good quote: "Chicks with no teeth turns me on." Something about his ways turn me on, though not socially. Sort of like Doc Martin. Both are British, you know? Hugh Laurie, who plays House, is also in Spooks.

thought of what to write. I am really starting to like brit shows. caught coupling a couple of weeks ago and it was quite good. a messy "you slept with him? but I'm sleeping with him" kinda sitcom. thank God 过分美丽 and I never went for the same kinda guys.

TV numbs. Still thinking. Thinking kills me. Not thinking will probably kill me too. Mosquitos in the room, smack and it's dead.

Doc asked me if I wanted to reduce my medication. It was making me heaty and giving me hangovers. Asked her if it could have gave me those stuff but forgot to ask about the ab pains. Bought new food. getting new fridge tomorrow.

thinking of what to write. thinking of nincompoop. haven't met him in a long long time and miss him terribly. wanna see his darling son, his frowning girl and the new one that I haven't met. thinking of the Faithful Non-Boyfriend. haven't met him in a long time, and he's also cramming for exams. miss him terribly, wish we can crap around the pool table again. Doc said I am like a guy, when I told her that I like to walk out before time for exams. She asked if I would try to escape and I asked if I could try for the first paper in the main hall first. Would love to go somewhere, but perhaps not as far as Taiwan as planned with 过分美丽. Asked chuwen but that fickle man said no. Might go the same time as last year and make it a yearly affair again. Don't know what going on planes and ships might do to me, but buses should be ok, or so I hope. Planes might make me incredibly nervous.

Off to try to study. Or at least place out what chuwen went through with me the last time. Gotta try to clean my room again haha.

I need a new racquet.

Monday, May 01, 2006

literati and rap music

that's the state of some music nowadays. I'm not against bearing your emotions, but not encouraging certain stuff. There was this 张惠妹 song that has this line in it "在我心上用力的开一枪/让一切归零在这声巨响" but in context it's not about suicide. But the state of Rap and HipHop is kinda sad, you think? The genre is killed by lousy lyrics.

I like this song from DC Talk for many reasons, but one of it is that it shows that genres of tunes sometimes do get killed by lyrics.

"some people out there givin’ rap a bad name, well I’m here to let you know, we ain’t down with that."

you know what? got a feeling that this is a crappy post. Makes me wonder why and what am I blogging about. But after that freak out just now, this is as good as it gets. Next psy appt is tomorrow morning. Hope I live until then, and that I am in the pink of health. Hyprochronics are funny people, I am.

Meanwhile, I beat chuwen at Literati again! Ok la, yesterday's 2 matches were a draw. Haha. Off to challenge him again!