I had it

I've been pondering on whether to close this blog, because, well, of a few reasons that I cannot state here. But as I look at my blog, and think about its origin, and what it saw me through... all the pain I shared in it... I cannot just close this. So well, pissed off with the new blogger, I have moved. This blog will continue to be updated only at the links section, because I use this for my blog links. Perhaps occasionally I might spam it with pics of my cats or comics... but I have moved. Want the new bloggie? It ain't rocket science to find. It's public though. =)

I am nothing with my O2 mini. I am crippled. I have a ton of stuff to do, follow up emails to write and appointments that I cannot forget. Now, at work I have my Outlook – syncronised to everyone else’s in the office for big ass internal meetings like the one in the afternoon that I am totally not ready for because I only managed to sleep at 5am and didn’t want to call my boss at 7am to take urgent leave so I’ll just probably fall asleep and tio tekan in the meeting later – to remind me of work appointments and immediate after work activities. But it doesn’t give me the overview I need, and I just feel continually crippled. I will *almost* never take my O2 for granted again, when it’s fixed and wifi ready.   When the moto ming comes (in a week’s time, woohoo!), I might just change my mind, because I cannot syncronise files and certain email attachments to my O2. However, (I know I’ve debated the moto ming vs O2 mini thing before) my O2 can go wifi leh, after it’s fixed. Now, cannot. My SD slot got fantastic problem. Haha. Wifi, means I can go online at public places on MSN to disturb people. Hurhurhur.   I love Motorola though, way before it was popular. Booyah.

I don't think you'll read this. Haha. But if you do.. this is the song I found most befitting my feeling now. Hahaha. Because.. I am leaving my wishes on the sidewalk. 多少个秋,多少个冬/我几乎快要被治癒好 但还是会去因為一个重复的话题就无心自扰 也曾想过,若真遇见到/我们应该如何是好 我想我还是会站在某一个街角/不让你看到 只因為我不想打扰/只因為怕你解释不了 只因為现在你的眼睛裡/她比我还重要 我只好假装我看不到/看不到你和她在对街拥抱 你的快乐/我可以感受的到/这样的见面方式对谁都好 我只好假装我听不到/听不到别人口中的他好不好 再不想问,也不想被风知道/放逐你的世界我管不了 若不想问/若不想被风知道/就把祝福 - 留在街角

sorry

you know you are fucked when you wake up with the stench of alcohol around your place. After a good dinner with my pop, a colleague came to my place. Somehow, things got out of hand - no, not the way you think - but we were so wasted that this morning, I realised that she had sent smses, from my phone, to many guyfriends of mine, among them, my buddy, my buddy in KL, and also Chuwen. If anyone else had received such smses.. I apologise.

sat morning, 1.30am

after waking up (I slept damn early cos I forgot how lousy I am at drinking) just now to remove my contacts and mascara, the only thing on my mind was wah lau, that is a lot of bak sai my bak sai is blog worthy. anyways I'm up but damn shagged now. The house stinks. Need to clean up, esp the room and the bed because someone's going to take a look at the bed later. Argh. I have too many clothes. Anyone wants to buy my clothes? 有谁来买我的衣服?

this is a rant for the boy who is dating my best friend. You friggin asshole. You have, on your hands, one of the most devoted girls I know, and you want to let your friggin insecurities tie her. She is tolerating you out of love, but you friggin do not get it, do you? She's a mature, thinking young woman, and you're a little insecure boy who is feeding on her love, wanting to make her your slave. Part of her beauty is in her independence. Because you are insecure, you refuse to let her meet her friends, refuse to let her know more people. YOU FRIGGIN PRICK! Go be a enunch and harm the world no more! Do not let me see you bullying her in real life. I've always respected her pleas to leave the men alone, but if I ever, ever, ever see you bullying her in real life, playing on her love... I cannot promise you that you'll have enough teeth to chew a hamburger. You friggin ASSHOLE. She deserves better from you. I know what you look like. If I ever ever find out that this is continuing despite this warning, I will hunt you down and make sure you have shit for breakfast. I will hunt you down. I don't have to get physical to give you damage, but I can, if I want to. And if I ever, ever find out you hit her, be prepared. Very prepared. In fact, you better flee the country. She deserves better than this shite you give to her, you fucker. You friggin ASSHOLE, you who have lack of intelligence and perhaps a small penis. And if you think this is harsh, I've not told you off in real life. You ask her, I've made people cry, but I'm sure you'll find out for yourself.

friday, thank God it's friday?

I hate wearing contacts. Without my glasses, I've just become a face in the crowd, another "pretty" girl. Perhaps, my glasses mould my identity, and my unique heck-care-I-got-a-booger-hanging-out-of-my-nose character. anyways, I just realised that V day is coming. Not a big thing, not at all. Perhaps it's been overshadowed by the upcoming CNY. In fact, I was chit-chatting with a Lancome Salesgirl that day at Shaw's Isetan, when she lamented the fact that business had been slow. I guess the extended extended holidays last month really made us have holiday-fatigue in the wallet, or plain tired of shopping. No one I know is eager for "CNY shopping!" this year, which is a far cry from last year because I said, "I don't think am buying anything" and that got me warded in their mental hospital for being shopping-unfriendly. Actually, if not for the fact that a prospect nailed that day for a demo (14th Feb? 14th Feb? Why like so familiar...), I wouldn't even have realised. Heh. This week, I didn't really get work fatigue, you know, "shitcanfridaycomefasterzzzzz". Perhaps it's because I took leave on Tuesday, and perhaps also because a few friends came over for dinner and a movie on Wednesday night, or perhaps someone came over for a while last night. It's more of "Yay, friday, can wear casual" and "whoa, it's sat already tomorrow". I need more of these weeks!

all curled up

I finally had someone to curl up to tonight (he had been cranky). It was great laying next to him, hearing his breathing. I occasionally turned, and he twitched in irritation of the disturbance hurhurhur. The best part about it was when he purred. The gentle vibrations were almost blissful! Who need uzap? I've got Alex!

obligatory title

hate it. I hate it hate it hate it. The new blogger that is. Don't mind me, it's probably just inertia. And I hate it that they forced me to move. I should just moved to wordpress there and then. Hate the orange familiarity of blogger. Hope this's PMS. Meanwhile, my O2's in the workshop getting an extreme makeover. A cardiologist's ripping out its heart and putting in a spanking new motherboard. Unfortunately, I've realised how dependent I've become on Outlook and the PIM on it. Everything else was a huge plus. Of course, right after I'll get my O2 back, the new motoming will arrive (via my sister) and from having no choice, I'll have too many choices. But when you compare, O2's definitely more superior... I mean, Ming has no wifi! At least O2 has a choice to add wifi. Ming's using a microSD card for extension, and it's UNDER the battery. How dumb is that? Obviously, a wireless SD card would be out of the question. However, I think that Ming's definitely geared for office work - perhaps I'll be more productive from now on? Talking about productive - I only did like 3 of the 1000000 tasks I'm supposed to do today. (Previous record is nil while more tasks pile up.) Nescafe (with milo - the way I like it) didn't come through for me. Perhaps my body's tolerance has increased! Next up, alcohol. I don't like to puke after one bottle of beer. (Yes, you heard me right - long were the days...) >Meanwhile, I've been aching to pick up a ciggie again. I am aware of the implications, but man, for that one fag! I didn't really allow myself to be hooked because there was this one time... and its hold on me shocked me. I had a lot more willpower then. Now, I'm just an addiction ridden slut. And by the way, Gramaphone at International Plaza's closing down. They have thoroughly spoilt me. They actually reserved The Nanny 2 for me, knowing I love that nasal voice. Talk about initiative! Coffee time!

so this is the new blogger. well, bah.

I hate it when Google forced me to upgrade to the new Blogger. I liked the old one, I knew what the new one had, and because I didn't like it that's why I didn't change it! *grumble* anyways, I saw this off someone's blog. Found it a tad interesting. However, lack of options meant that the answers were not too accurate and it's an online quiz, so I wouldn't read too much to it, and it's not too accurate. For one, I WOULD vote for a conversative candidate if I agreed. I don't apply labels, or try not to. But this quiz is fun anyways. Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously. Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Your date match profile: Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart. Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need. Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Funny 3. Religious 4. Big-Hearted 5. Athletic 6. Outgoing 7. Intellectual 8. Practical 9. Wealthy/Ambitious 10. Sensual Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Religious 2. Funny 3. Conservative 4. Big-Hearted 5. Practical 6. Intellectual 7. Adventurous 8. Athletic 9. Shy 10. Traditional Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz. Anyways, I'll be getting the MotoMing a week after my O2's fixed. damn, shouldn't have bought it! I just realised that it would mean giving up my wireless, my MSNMobile, etc. =( Just because it's new couldn't make up for the wireless. Ah well. At least I'll work harder with it! Talking about working.. I haven't started finished the report! I've got a lot of work to do, and perhaps I'll have some coffee for breakfast so I can speed things up. =)

3 more days to the weekend

yes I'm on leave today. But no, I didn't go to ECP. I actually missed my medical appointment. I was too tired - I actually fell asleep within half an hour of reaching home. Alex's fever came back, and I wanted to coax him to bed, so I hugged him.. after a while he fidgeted away from my grip. I was so tired that I just lay there in my work clothes and fell asleep. Sometime through the night I woke up and removed the bulky skirt and other stuff and went back to sleep. I woke up at 7am, but after lying in bed for 10 mins I realised that I was way too tired to go. I managed to do all my errands today, and fixed my best friend's PC (ok, I brought the guy who fixed it to her place, and bought him dinner to thank him), went to my mum's place for lunch and arrange some stuff, etc etc. I wish for more days like this: cake, drinks, a comic book and a nice comfy sofa to sink in.

the, what, 5th post for today?

You know I’m terribly bored. Yea, I have a lot of work but the lazy bone’s in place. Just an hour left to knocking off and wow, have I wasted today or have I wasted today? At least it didn’t seem as horribly sian as some other days. I have a lot of work!!!   Yay, on leave tomorrow. Boo, no one to go ECP with. Ah well. Perhaps I can finish some of the spring cleaning and then finish my work! (suddenly I am reminded of my childhood, where when I forgot to do my homework, I’ll take MC then finish it off. Hahaha)   Things haven’t changed much ;p

There is another Zeus!

ya la ya la I know that this is like 1 and a half years too late... but I just wanted to try. So...... does this mean I'm god-like? Congratulations rationalneurotic, you are... Cowboy Caleb of cowboycaleb.liquidblade.com You are smart, loyal and sensitive. You are also very caring towards other people and you help them out whenever you can. You are very passionate about your line of work. You fight for your beliefs and if someone doesn't agree with you, you argue your point of view across in a very convincing yet diplomatic manner. For that, you earn respect. Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

无底洞? Is it the same for you?

I know I must have blogged about this a million times. But after so long, I know not what my heart feels. Doubt and a whole hoard of questions swarm me, and I worry making the wrong decision. Do I, or do I not? Is it just lip service? Do I feel it? Can I feel it? Can I feel anything? The irrationality overwhelms me, I question myself to no avail. Some say, aiyoh, now is just shallow only.. how come think so much? I know. I'm paranoid and distrusting of myself I guess. But I do enjoy the interaction. I just hope it's not all I enjoy: the smses, the smiles, the little comments across the group that only the both of us pick up. I was fucked up for a while a few months back. I was fucked up for a long while a few years back. I'm starting to think singlehood is good, besides the occasional emptyness when your friends are all cooing in pairs or cold nights where snuggling makes it perfect. But I refuse to pass 'judgement' like that - it must come from the heart, any emotion and decision. However, I hate it when L.O.V.E. turns and screw me from the back. I know that it might not amount to anything, but just to satiate me... at the risk of losing it all.. is it 无底洞 for you? I actually hope not, but please think it through. Are you fond of me for me? Or do you like me just because I'm there. Am I an oasis or a mirage? 有时寂寞太沉重/身边彷佛只是观众/你的感受没有人懂 难得谁自告奋勇/体贴让人格外感动/爱上他前后用不到一分钟 *嘿回想恋情的内容/有谁想过有始有终/不过是一时脆弱让人放纵 穿梭一段又另一段感情中/爱为何总填不满又掏不空 很快就风起云涌/人类的心是个无底洞 尝试亲吻尝试拥抱或沟通/没有好感再尝试也没有用 大多数人都相同/喜欢的只是爱情的脸孔 没有谁背后怂恿/不该爱又爱的冲动/是你害怕孤单而拼命补充

my monday so far

I slept for barely 4 hours next to Alex when I woke up, groggy. I'm never totally comfortable sleeping in his room. At a mind-numbing 5am, I made my way to my room, just to hear a symphony of sounds coming from my tummy. A worry came up - one that will continue until something else happens, and I just lay there, unable to sleep, needing to sleep. Furgie stared at me with her wide beautiful black eyes while Linus watched me cover myself in desperate coldness. The weather nowadays! I'm resigned to the fact that I don't think I can sleep immediately. A spattering of thoughts invite my mind, some I welcome, some I detest, others I have absolutely no emotion about. So I go to my living room - to finish my "Greatest Stories of Batman!" - and I turn to a corner to see Chappy sitting next to a puddle of pee. In my living room. In a corner. Just 5 hours into a monday and I'm already praying that the trend does not continue. be my valentine? Significance haven't sunk in, more busy tsk-tsking at my fur-laden blanket.